Monday, October 02, 2006

Some people are all heart, but not Ruben Campoy

Update: Ruben wrote me a personal note three years after this form letter and explained himself when I asked him to. For the record, he's not a coke dealer; he seems like a reasonable guy; and he's not ashamed of being in the clown band. You can read his full comments.

Ruben, Ruben, Ruben. . .

A little tip, if I may, about doing business in the Google age: if your name is not unique, you might want to include a URL for your website when you send out your deeply felt form letters in your avaricious attempt to profit from the grief of others.

See, if you don't include a URL for your website, someone like me might have to Google you to find out just how reputable a person is who fires off form letters to a grieving family to drool over their mother's estate before the grass on her grave has had time to take root, and that someone, like me, might not be able to tell if Ruben Campoy is a trumpet player in a clown band or if Ruben Campoy is a coke smuggler.

Fortunately, you included your address and phone number, making it easy to find Ruben Campoy, the zany, trumpeting clown or call Ruben Campoy, the coke smuggler for anyone who wants to hear some zany brass, score a coupla' keys, or discuss his mother's estate with a total stranger who happens to be a hearse-chasing, opportunistic slug of the lowest sort.

As a matter of fact, next time I am in town, perhaps I will stop by for a visit. If you're not there, I might just have to check with your neighbors to see if they know which one you are:

Or perhaps you're all three--a renaissance man of sorts, a jackass of all trades and master of none.

Before I get there, however, perhaps Google will have found enough links to information about your clowning--or was it coke dealing?--to clarify to everyone just how trustworthy and sensitive you are.

Ruben found my blog and wrote me a note...
I read your blog from back in the day on Ruben Campoy,…I have no problems with the blog except that your coke dealer is not me…for the few months I tried after the seminar I went to…I found Probate is a very difficult and sensitive situation…your right about the is at a keyboard click…It was why I gave complete comps of the area to the people I worked with and I am not ashamed of helping the people I spoke with at the time, I gave them as up to date information as possible.. But I am not ashamed of playing the trumpet and yes I was in klown band 20 years ago in college. Again, I do mind that you have me linked to some drug dealer…please remove that link…appreciate this ..thank you…Ruben

I asked Ruben to explain why he wrote the form letter...
I sincerely want to apologize to and your family for any type of emotional hardship it might have caused you… I did it for like 4-5 months after attending a seminar. I am still in real estate, but the market has changed so there is plenty of inventory as opposed to awhile ago when you couldn’t find any property for investors. Probate is a tough gig. I guess its why I had my address and phone number on the letter…For the few who did have a problem, they could call or write me right away. I wasn’t trying to hide from anyone… And believe me… I got a couple of earfuls from some families…,but right or wrong, it is part of that business. And you would be very surprised on how many positive calls I actually did get from it. Believe or not, I actually met people who still call me to this day if they have questions about the housing market. but again, I apologize for your families inconvenience with the letter. Hopefully you can forgive and forget…Best wishes to your family…


  1. Sweet Mother of God, that was fast! Why haven't I seen this yet?! How can I cash in?!! Is this one of your clever Blufr tests?

    Let me know when you set up the meeting with Mr. Campoy. I have a new 9-lb. hammer we could use to help him trim the calluses off his greedy little fingers.

  2. Unbelievable. I mean really, does that pathetic little fuck even realize how morally Rumsfeldian he is? I simply cannot comprehend the moral depravity of some people.

    But thanks for passing along his address. I'm sure I can find a few hundred embarrassing mailing lists to get him on (NAMBLA, anyone?).

  3. Holy crap. That is truly disgusting and astounding. I hope there's a special annex in hell for people like this.

  4. Anonymous6:36 PM

    One word "Kemper". Done and done.

  5. Wow. Someone has taken the time to create a form letter, keep track of death notices and somehow find names and addresses of family members.

    You wonder what would happen if that energy were put to some better use than money-grubbing the bereaved.

    PS: That Blufr site is very time-consuming. Thanks a lot mister.

  6. Anonymous8:27 PM

    I'm with ZD. Let's spam his smarmy ass.

  7. Spam bedamned. I believe this calls for a GoogleBomb...

    First, we need to agree a term that we will all use to link to Mr Campoy. 'Callous Bastard' from the original article seems good. Now all you need to do is create a sentence on a webpage in which the words 'Callous Bastard' appear as a URL to Mr Fuckwit's site.

  8. Durr - Ignore me - I'm undoing Papa B's good work. It needs to be a link with 'Ruben Campoy' attached to a URL that then links to his less proud moments, so that Google will throw that up in its first few results.