UPDATE: Please read Arabella's comment below and my subsequent post about this.
Hi [Name],
I read many blogs, and it's always great to come across a well written Dad's take on life.
My name is Arabella and I'm from Knucklehead Marketing, a marketing agency based in Los Angeles.
I'm looking for influential writers like yourself to review the new Wisk 3x Multi-Action Laundry Detergent. I'd like to send you a full-size bottle for review on your site, http://bradstein.blogspot.com/.
We're looking for your honest, journalistic opinion and feedback and hope that such a review would be of interest to your readers.
Please let me know if you're interested, and I will follow-up with you soon about this opportunity.
Thanks,
Arabella
Knucklehead Marketing
Here's my "honest, journalistic opinion and feedback," Arabella
- Modern typefaces no longer require two spaces after periods for clarity.
- "Follow up" as a noun or an adjective requires a hyphen, but as a verb, it has no hyphen.
- Form letters are far more effective when you replace "[Name]" with the actual name of the person you are writing to.
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You badass editor you! Go get 'em!
ReplyDelete[Name]...love that personal touch.
Too bad that "influential writers like yourself" bit didn't butter you up a bit more, then you might have been more forgiving.
Clearly he hasn't read enough of this blog to know that I'm a total jackass with no tolerance for spam, junk mail, or phonebot calls. Or for clowns, coke smugglers, and callous bastards named Ruben Campoy.
ReplyDeleteHarsh. And funny as hell. Go get em Papa.
ReplyDeleteGah! Just for the record, I learned how to type from a stern, old broad in my middle school and she made sure the whole "two spaces" thing was firmly lodged in my tiny skull. It's a hard lesson to unlearn. However, she never would have let me get away with "[NAME]" either.
ReplyDeleteyou're so smart.
ReplyDelete:)
and that was funny.
How do you think she's feeling now?
denverdad: my typing teacher was "Ms.Simpson", and she was the same way.
ReplyDeletelmao.
ReplyDeleteThis was MY response when I replied to her:
ReplyDelete"Hello, [Name]!
I receive so many requests to test and review products, that it's nice to finally get one for something that interests me. I'd love to review [product] because it's one of my favorite brands.
Please send it to [address] and I'll give it my honest and fair opinion.
Because I'm feeling so [emotion] today, I'd be happy to help you out!
Thanks,
[Name]"
LAD: Holy crap. I totally missed that we were playing Mad Libs. Thanks for the heads up; I had a drunken, pissed off sailor fill in the blanks for me and sent off my reply.
ReplyDeleteOkay...well, here's a letter from me...
ReplyDeleteDear Sony,
I'm a bloggin' bada$$.
I review stuff all of the time, and my devoted readers are truly interested in my opinion on various products.
This month, I would like to review your newest, largest, wall-mountable flat tv. Additionally, I would like to check out your latest laptop to blog about both products.
Feel free to ship one or more of each to me at the following address:
....
Thanks,
Lainey-Paney
Hi, I'm Arabella -- and I'm the one who accidently sent that e-mail to Papa Bradstein. I've been personally blogging for years and just shut down my personal blog because of things associated with blogging. I think we seem to forget that there's a person behind the computer screen. I truly apologize for sending that e-mail. I didn't mean it as spam, it's just my job to get bloggers to try products. I do feel really badly about everything. I wish you all luck with your blogs.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Arabella
(you can Google my name, "Arabella Santiago" to see the work I've done.)
I've read all the comments here, but I just have to say that LAD's response is just classic. LOL.
ReplyDeleteI can tell from her post just how much she cares. Look, she spammed you again.
ReplyDelete