Friday, March 28, 2008

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Be grateful for what you've got.
--William DeVaughn

Should I be worried that 3B demands to see Bobby Julich, "fast biker," several times a day? I've been trying to get 3B hooked on George or Levi, but there's only one George--the curious one--for 3B and Leipheimer's not as easy to say as Julich.

At least 3B's not demanding to see Michael Vick. And if this bike racing seed is planted firmly enough in his subconscious, perhaps we'll have to take a trip to see the Tour, Giro or Vuelta someday. You know, because 3B wants to go.

Besides, things could always be worse...



Monday, I had to wash out the bathtub just to get a cup of coffee, and I was feeling suitably sorry for myself about it...oh, how did that happen?

I went to get coffee...
  • had to dump the grounds out...
  • partially missed the trash can...
  • got some coffee in the dog food, some on the floor, some on the inside and outside of the garbage can...
  • had to toss out several days' worth of dog food...
  • clean the kitchen floor...
  • rinse out the garbage can in the bathtub, which meant I had to...
  • clean the bathtub...
and therefore didn't have time to drink that cup of coffee.



But then I got home and heard about Mama, who tried to take a shower before 3B's nap yesterday. She knew she needed a plan to keep 3B occupied, so she filled a bowl with water for him to play with...
  • Mama got into the shower...
  • 3B dumped the water on the bathroom floor...
  • played in it...
  • Mama had to mop the water up...
  • take off 3B's clothes and diaper...
  • he peed on the floor...
  • she's trying to dry herself off too...
  • he pooped on the floor...
  • she evacuated the bathroom to the bedroom...
  • he climbed up on our desk chair...
  • and peed all over it...
and as I listened to her story, I was thinking that my morning wasn't so bad.


"I think that every time I go into a store with 3B, it takes three years off of my life."
And then there was Mama's story about Tuesday's trip to BRU with 3B, which involved
  • a bulldozer ride in the lobby area
  • a scream that nearly took Mama's head off
  • a sobbing fit
  • a computer toy
  • another sobbing fit
  • one organic lollipop
  • cashiers parsing coupon text as if it were the Magna Carta
  • another organic lollipop
  • a cashier who wanted all of Mama's demographic data, to which Mama said, "No. I'm not doing that. I need to get him out of here. Now. If you don't check me out, I'm shoplifting these lollipops."


Maybe when I've recovered from the trauma of last night, I'll explain how I ended up wrestling with Barky in our vomit-slick bathtub last night ... it all started out behind the pool house with me, Barky and a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. I was trying to get him to barf ... but that's a tale for another time ...

So, go ahead 3B, chant your Bobby Julich mantra. Just no more pooping on the floor or meltdowns in the store. But if you do, I'm going to try to maintain your approach ... (and you, gentle reader, how do you recover from days like this? ... check out the new poll in the upper-left, there)


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6 comments:

  1. samantha jo campen12:08 PM

    Holy geeze. Wow.

    All the peeing and pooping and crying and screaming.

    Now I'm frightened.

    I liked the coupon/Magna Carta reference. Niiice.

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  2. Glad you liked it. This ain't no lowbrow blog, y'all.

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  3. Parenting is not for the weak. Dog parenting is not either. For the record, I paid someone to do the barf thing with the dog, and I felt it was money well spent, but then, I only ever had to do that once (she says, knocking on wood.)

    I hope you are doing better today.

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  4. Dude, have your priorities changed? I didn't see a place to vote for "5-10 martinis, straight up"!

    Stores like BRU are really overwhelming, even for adults. As are the godforsaken restaurants around here who think it's pleasant eating ambiance to have both muzak and a TV blaring.

    Here's something to lift your mood: tonight in the car, the boy said, "When I'm grown up, I'm going to ride my bike everywhere. I don't like being in cars." I mentioned how you have been known to commute on your bike, to which he said, "Even if it's far away, I'll ride my bike."

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  5. Amama: I love that boy. More now.

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  6. The dancer cousin mentioned that in the video 3B is doing the sprinkler dance a little. I hope he is developing his techinique so one day they can dance together.

    I know it is not the most desireable thing, but next time try putting the boy in the shower with mama. We used to do that in the showers after swim lessons with my 2 girls, a friends 2 girls and The baby. It was much easier than trying to keep him out of the shower water and that way when he got home, he was clean and jamaed, ready for bed.

    I used to shower when the kids were taking a nap... of course that meant I didn't get one, now I wait for them to leave for school.

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