Friday, January 22, 2010

You had me at "has went up"

Recently the spam coming into my blog pseudonym account has increased dramatically. It appears that someone scraped the email info from my blog and sent it out to a list or several lists.

At first, the spam was actually fairly accurate in its targeting--requesting reviews for products dads might use, promotions for events families might be interested in, and so forth--but now they're drifting further afield.

Today's best was from a pay-as-you-go cellphone company that's trying to scare me into buying their phone...you know, for my three-year-old...you'll see why I'm such an editorial snot if you read to the end:

The newest data from The Kaiser Family Report on media usage in 8-18 year olds [OK, I'm too lazy to hyphenate this correctly every time, but this should be 8-18-year-olds] shows a blaring 27 % ["Blaring"? When did percentages start blaring? Horns blare. Sirens blare. Percentages don't blare. They can be astonishing, perplexing and even incredible, but they don't blare. Also, don't put a space between the number and the percent symbol. Hell, while you're at it, you should spell out "percent."] increase in cell phone usage since 2004, an average of over two and a half hours spent on their cell phone [Per day? Per week? Per fortnight? During their entire lifetime? This is a meaningless number unless it's attached to a time span.], and a direct relationship to increased use and poor academic performance. [Poor academic performance? Really? Like on basic topics like reading, writing and grammar?]

The report stated that this trend is unaffected by children’s age, race, or socioeconomic class. Other findings:

  • Cell phone ownership in 8-18 year olds has went up to 66% in 2009 from just 39% in 2004 ["Has went up"? So, this was written by one of those 8-18-year-olds, then? Really, I should have stopped reading here, but the compulsive side of me made me finish at least the list. I've always hated that compulsive side, and here's another reason why.]
  • Over the last five years overall media usage has increased 17%-26% in 8-18 year olds [While we're here...what does this mean? It went up from 17 percent to 26 percent? Or, the rate of increase varies depending on the age bracket within that range? How does this relate to media usage in other age ranges during the same period. Media usage?
What do you mean by "media"? Or "usage"? If you use them like I do, how does television viewing time relate to cell phone use? Or perhaps preteens and teens are reading the newspaper more...and shouldn't we encourage that?]
Oh, by the way...No, I don't want your cell phone for my three-year-old.
[And another thing...



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3 comments:

  1. Ha ha, love it! There's a grammar/spelling group on Facebook that I have joined that I think you might enjoy...Check out my page and you'll see it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well if we’re being stringent, it should be 8[en dash]18[hyphen]year[hyphen]olds. Hyphens break up words; en dashes (in this case) denote a range of values.

    ReplyDelete
  3. FF: Good to know, because I don't spend enough time on FB as it is.

    E: You are, of course, correct, but I'm too lazy to go in and code en dashes...or em dashes, as I'm sure you've noticed in other posts.

    ReplyDelete