Wednesday, December 28, 2005

What do we do now?

As we're sure that most of you have heard, because we've told most of you, we're due to be parents in or around July 2007. And if we haven't gotten around to telling you yet, accept our apologies for the oversight. We're still getting used to the news ourselves, and we just started telling people over this weekend, calling my family as we drove up to Vermont, and telling Wifey's family as soon as we got here.

We're about 12 weeks into it now, and not too much has changed, and yet many things have changed. We're both still going to work and going out with friends, although there's been a little bit less of each, since Wifey has had some queasiness, which has caused her to miss some days and partial days at work, although her boss has been very understanding (she guessed what was up) and has allowed Jess to work from home if needed. There's also been some fatigue--OK, more than some--so our bedtimes have been earlier. Like at about 8 p.m. for awhile there. The lack of caffeine might have contributed to that as well, but my guess is that baby was sucking up Wifey's energy as it was growing from just a dot into an embryo. I don't mean to downplay the difficulties--Wifey threw up on the Metro one morning...and then still went to work (she's stronger than I am)--and the changes, but they have been coming on slowly and one at a time. And some days they don't appear at all. Of course, the
y've been less direct for me, although I will say that while I'm never happy when Wifey is queasy or tired or not feeling 100%, I'm glad that I can be here to look after her, get her what she needs, and take care of her. It's a welcome change to just know what's most important rather than trying to decide if we should paint, install closet doors, remove wallpaper, repot plants, etc. All of that falls away until Wifey has what she needs and is feeling well.

As for what comes next, we're just starting to figure that out. We told our parents as soon as we knew for (fairly) sure, and they've all been helpful with little tips and anecdotes from when they were expecting. It's fun to hear about what they went through, to know that we're not alone, and to have someone to talk to who's been there and back. I think that, in some ways, I won't fully understand Mom--not that any of us ever fully understands another--until after the baby is born, and even then, not until the baby has grown, and even then, not until the baby has left home...OK, so I'll never fully understand, but I feel like I might come a little closer to understanding. For now, however, we're still trying to figure out what comes next.

For Christmas, Santa brought me The Idiot's Pocket Guide to Being an Expectant Father, which is nice because it has lists of things to be aware of, consider, and do. I'm sure that I won't get to all of them, but it's nice to at least have heard about them...and have a reference to turn to in case one of them comes up suddenly. The book itself is short and a quick read--I finished the 200 pages in a day--and it has lengthy and thorough lists of additional resources and references. So, now I have plenty of other books to read and refer to as we make our preparations and find our way to the baby's birth day.

The only one in the house who we can't really prepare for all the changes is Farley. He'll have to get used to his new status as the not-so-only child. He's pretty flexible, however, so I'm not too worried about him. And, as soon as he discovers that the baby drops more food than I do, he'll fall in love with the child, I'm sure.

One of the tips in the Idiot's Guide that got me to thinking was to find other expectant fathers and talk to them regularly. Fred and I talked a bit when he was here, but it was a short visit with lots of activities. It got me to thinking that I should talk more to some of the guys I know who have been through this recently or who are expecting now--of course, that means that I'll have to make an announcement at work...which also means that I hope that no one from work is reading this now, since it will probably publish as we drive south on Wednesday, and I'll make the announcement on Thursday when we get back.

Right now, it's 10 p.m. on Boxing Day, and I'm sitting in Grandma's living room, and I'm going to read A Confederacy of Dunces until I fall asleep. (A Confederacy of Dunces? Is this the world we're bringing our child into? Oy vay.)

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