Friday, January 20, 2006

It's not easy being green

I know that during pregnancy, the woman has to do all of the work of bearing the child and sustaining it. I also know that there are many women who raise and bear their children without any assistance from a partner. And all of these women need as much information as they can get their hands on, which they can fortunately find at almost every turn on the internet.

However, there are, if not an equal number, a large number of expectant fathers who would also like a little 411 about what's happening and what's to come. Good luck finding it online, however. (Or offline, but I'll leave that for another time.)

There are some dads and expectant dads who are filling in the gaps left by traditional online publishers, gathering information to share with others, and gathering together around these new sites to support each other. I was glad to find some blogs that chronicle the lives of these dads, although I have to say that some of the posts don't really apply or appeal to me.

For example, while I'm interested in cars, I'm not sure how learning about the latest crossover vehicle from VW relates to my status as a dad-in-waiting. Perhaps it's just that it seems like an incredibly dorky car. Or, that it's just not an Aston Martin. Or a scoot (a blog is coauthored by new dad Jonathan Ogilvy).

In with that, however, is news that I am interested in, like about nutrition and food for kids. And what to expect from other people once the baby is born--and probably even before that, although they won't be nearly as likely to talk to the child as a proxy for speaking to me or Mama. On that topic, I think that it will be a matter of finding balance; some people will surely just be drawing attention to themselves, but some will surely have valid advice and good perspectives. As Castaneda learned at the beginning of his journey to Ixtlan, sometimes it takes a stranger to stop a person's world--a child's or an adult's--which can lead to valuable insights. On the other hand, it could be incredibly frustrating, and lead me to pour my grande, extra hot cappuccino on a stranger's head.

The best news for me is that these dads are out there doing this, that this information is available, and that these conversations are going on--speaking of conversations, you really have to read the comments in response to the post about walking too fast. For a dad like me, who believes that someone has already figured out most of the solutions to most of the problems that will arise before me, and who believes that constant communication reveals more information (and more useful information) than the binge and starve cycle that traditional publishing leads to, these outlets are exciting and invigorating to read and participate in.

As I started off saying, I know that moms have to do a tremendous amount of work that we dads can't help with, but there is plenty of work that we do, including new work that we take on as mom takes on her new role, and having someone to show us the way, go through it with us, and lead us to more information makes our job a little bit easier.


  1. Anonymous2:15 PM

    You will find mom and dad Nazis. We are dog Nazis lways telling new puppy owners how to raise the pup. So I am sure some people are real baby nazis. We try not to be that way but catch ourselves doing it.To me it seems alot of it will come to you via nature, except of course for those things you have to do because Jess cant because she doesnt feel welletc. Hey look at me now I am a baby Nazi!!!Just always keep thinking WWKRD. What would Keith richards do. Thats how I live my perfectly drunk life.

    Cilla get me some more bullets for the TV.

  2. The funny thing is that we're still doggie dictators, even though we had to get a shrink for Barky--who also spent today at doggie daycare, as he does one day a week.

    Especially when I step in something that they didn't clean up--which, if it happens with baby, will be a good chance for baby to learn some new words. Nice small words.

    I can only expect that my hypocrisy will continue when caring for for using the WWKRD baby raising method--how did you know our plans?