Friday, April 21, 2006

My Bad

I'm clearly really behind on my blog reading. Zygote Daddy tagged me a week ago, and I just saw it.

Mea freakin' culpa, dude.

To start at the end of your post, I'm not sure about this tagging thing either, but yours was at least more specific than Liberal Banana's shout out tagging of anyone who read her blog, so you showed some restraint.

Weird facts. OK. I'll try.

I feel like I should take a deep breath and hold it, like I'm about to be dropped into an icy lake or out of a plane or something. No, that's not my first fact, that's just how I feel right now.

  1. I'm going to cheat with my first one, though, because I think it will amuse Mama, if she ever reads this. My first weird fact is the exact same as Zygote Daddy's number three. Go figure.

  2. I used to be the Stage Manager at the Palm Springs Follies, where I worked along with the King, who is the Anonymous commenter. He can tell you how strange it is, but Mama, who also worked there, pointed out that when the TV show "Strange Universe" shows up to film a documentary piece on your workplace, you work in a strange place. One of the dance captains said that it's like what they call in Vegas a "tits and feathers" show, except all the performers are over 50. I think this could qualify for a twofer, since I met Mama while we were working at the Foolies, but since I already cheated on the first one, I won't cheat again here. Although the show itself is weird enough to qualify, there are also all the sordid details that make working in theatre so much fun, like the storing the sets in "The Dungeon," which was an abandoned underground mall in Palm Springs, or having to chase off the bum who took a leak in the pink bathtub that we used in the stripper number, but had to store in the alley out back during the show. Should I go on?

  3. I used to be Smokey Bear. No, that's not some delusion of grandeur; I really used to be Smokey Bear. Pet peeve: there's no "the." It's just Smokey Bear. When I worked for the Forest Service, part of the job description was dressing up as Smokey. Actually, most FS employees have done it at one point or another, but since I was in customer relations, it really was in the job description. It's not that hard, since you're not allowed to talk. The only job skill really is the ability to stay conscious when wrapped in a heavy, dark body carpet on a sweltering summer day. It is a magical experience, however, because the kids really do believe that you're a real bear when you appear, and they are just amazed that they can touch your hand (paw?) and give you a hug.

  4. Mama and I arranged to have our tour guides "drop us in the Dades Gorge" in Morocco, on the advice of the woman who runs the hostel we stayed at in Marrakesh. [Updating: "tour guides" is way off the mark. There was only one guy, Mohammed, and he didn't speak much French, so mostly he drove a group of seven or so of us around Morocco in a tiny van for about a week. So, we did tour around, but we depended on each other as much as Mohammed, since we were all English speakers. There was no real "guiding," except the getting us from one place to the next. Lonely Planet: Morocco did the guiding.] We spent a beautiful few days there. Each one started with the proprietor of the tiny hotel where we stayed asking us what we wanted for dinner, since he was going to market to buy food for the day, and each one ended when they turned off the generator, all the lights went out, and the inky sky enveloped us in its warm embrace. The dinners were all miraculous tajines that we ate while reclined on pillows, after spending our days winding up through the smooth bellies of the gorge into dark, cool passages. At the back of one deep overhang, where water was seeping out of the stone, there were water bottles carefully placed under each regular drip. One day, a boy came down the gorge as we went up, passing us with his mother camel and a young camel calf.

  5. I've owned my pet ornate box turtle since 1980--26 years. He still looks older than dirt, and acts younger than I could ever hope to feel. He is a Zen master, who I secretly believe is controlling my whole life. That's probably for the best. If I was left to my own devices, I would probably never get out of bed, unless I ran out of books, cookies, or water. On the other hand, my life is being controlled by a reptile who, left to his own devices, walked off my bed onto a tile floor. He was fine; this was 25 years ago, and he's still going strong (knock on wood . . . does being overly superstitious count as one?). Also, I thought that he had better sense than to do that. That's not a picture of him, since I don't have any that I can quickly link to. He's much more handsome than that guy.

  6. Mama and I wrote our wedding vows the night before our wedding--after spending the day looking for our marriage license, which we had lost somewhere. I believe that her brother found the license. One of my favorite wedding memories comes from the day before the wedding. Our minister, the Right Reverend Rich, was floating in an inner tube in Perch Pond, beer in hand. As Mama and I arrived, he called out to us, "Hey, guys! Written your vows yet?" He gave us a laugh, then floated off. To this day, we're not sure what we said, since Rich walked off with the only written copy, and we haven't wanted to watch the video of the ceremony that Uncle Bill took, not wanting to ruin the perfect moment that we shared together. We have watched the rest of the wedding footage that he shot, which is great of the people, the farm, the whole experience. But that moment, facing each other, is something that I think we'll only ever want to see from the inside, looking at one another, saying . . . something. Ah, the words weren't that important. If they were, we wouldn't have been scrawling them at Grandma's kitchen table at midnight the night before our wedding.
There you go. I hope that you learned something weird about me. As for passing the tag along, let's see . . . I pass it along to
  • the cousin, who loves lists--or is that Liszt?
  • Liberal Banana, as a tag-back
  • the King, who can TCB by responding in a comment, since the King's too big for a blog, baby
  • Brother #2, because he has nothing else to spend his time on other than hunting down Stab-Lok breakers to FedEx to us and responding to a game of blog-tag
As for the late night posting, ZD--I'm right there with you. I don't know if my body is trying to prepare me for the great sleep deprivation experiment that's coming my way like a tornado, or what, but I'm always up, writing and posting into the wee hours.


  1. Anonymous11:02 AM

    Whew. I'm glad I'm not the only one with that blanket thing. Of course, that won't stop d.w. from deviously stealing my corner from me just to see the look on my face.

    Yeah--ditto on the wedding video. We had an over-eager videographer, who I'm guessing wants to make it big in the music video world, by his propensity for low angle, in-your-face shots and quick cuts. At the time I had no idea he was running all around us with the video camera. I only learned about that from annoyed family members. So I'm perfectly happy remembering the ceremony for myself.

    And the late-night posting thing: I think you're on to something. I used to be a morning person. Now I find myself awake and online at two in the morning on a routine basis. The zygote must be sending me insomia vibes, just for practice.

    Oh, and thanks for indulging the tag. Still not sure about these things. Remind me a little of middle school. But I'm probably just imagining things.

  2. Hey, you got a problem with my blanket tagging?? :P I just don't like playing favorites, alright? :)

    Okay, enough with the gay smiley faces. I love the look the girl in the pink sweatshirt is giving you in the Smokey Bear picture. I think your wedding story is very sweet. And did you realize that your turtle is the same age as I am? (HA! Don't hit me!)

    I would love to do the meme but I can't. I already did the 13 Embarassing Things one last week and I pretty much used all my good stuff up there. Wendy tagged me on this one last week and I just couldn't think of more than one thing: I don't drink plain white milk. Not on my cereal and not as a beverage. That's it!

    Have a nice rainy Saturday!

  3. Anonymous1:30 PM

    Wait Starnge Universe filmed us??? I dont remember that one. what an odd thing......

    TCB passed out and luvin it.

    Thinking more of the Kings own blog.

  4. King, you don't remember because you were mixing up the Pepto with whatever was in Luther's bag over there in the corner.

    Who had time for TV anyway at the Foolies?

    'Cilla, get me some more bullets, I need to change the channel.