Friday, May 12, 2006

A Dog's Life

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who believes in tormenting his hound. Mama always claims that when we wrestle, I'm too rough with Barky. It doesn't help my defense--"He started it."--when Barky yipes.

"He's yiping because he's excited/happy/having fun," I say.

She then snatches him away from me and mutters about "that mean man over there." Yeah, Barky plays both sides.

And Barky will put up with pretty much anything, even if a treat isn't on offer. If a treat is on offer, however, I think that I could dangle him off the balcony like Michael Jackson's child and he wouldn't complain. Not that I ever would, of course. I'm just sayin' that I could.

Stacking toys on him is also good. Using him as a remote control holder is only fair, if he's going to curl up on the couch to watch TV with us. Picking him up and slinging him around, curled up in my arms like a baby--a big baby--is also fair, since he gets a belly rub while I do that.

What probably isn't fair is subjecting him to one more day of sawing, sanding, routing, hammering and general chaos that accompanies kitchen construction, but that's what he's getting today. The good news, for him and for us, is that he's just going to have to suffer through this one more day. Our countertops came in a week early, so his favorite contractor--she takes him out for walks in the middle of the day, as he reminds us when she's gone--will be there today to install the countertops, the sink, hook up the dishwasher, seal the grout, and add all the finishing touches before we hand over to her 3B's college fund for all her trouble.

I'm sure that it's not costing as much as the inadvertent swimming pool that Dooce had installed in her driveway, but it's still enough. We're not too worried, though. How much can a baby possibly need? All that gear probably isn't necessary, right?

I'm sure that Barky will make room in his crate for 3B--as if Barky sleeps in it anymore. 3B can have the crate to himself while Barky nestles in on the couch. Or, if it doesn't scare him, Barky can catch his Z's on my Valentine's Day gift to Mama, which also arrives today: the Dutailier glider rocker (although ours will be a handsome--one might even say valentine--red).

Barky's not so big on unexpected motion, though, so my guess is that the Dutailier is the one seat that we'll have all to ourselves.

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