Monday, July 17, 2006

Some days you're the windshield. . .

. . .some days you're the bug.

Today I'm the bug.

This morning, I managed to wake up, make coffee, walk Barky, shower, and get dressed. Before I left for work, however, I couldn't find my sunglasses. I knew that I had them when I walked Barky this morning, but they weren't next to my Treo. They weren't on the bedside table. They weren't on the coffee table. They weren't on the dining room table. They weren't in the closet or on the bar.

As I muttered to myself, my morning was starting to sound like Green Eggs & Ham:

"I did not put them on this box. I did not give them to a fox. They aren't in the fridge with the lox--hell, we don't have any lox, we're vegetarians!"
Mama and her Mama and Barky all watched me wander about, looking for my sunglasses. Down the hall, back into the living room, into the kitchen, over to the dining area, back down the hall. . .finally, I just had to leave for work.

I kissed Mama goodbye, locked the door behind me, got in the elevator, stepped out into the lobby, which was incredibly bright, so I grabbed my sunglasses out of my shirt pocket. . .

Yes. When I got dressed, I had hung them in my shirt pocket as I always do. My story, and I'm sticking with it, is that I'm a brain donor. I gave mine to my son.


  1. :)
    Your blog cracks me up.

    good luck on the baby!
    I'll spare you my son's delivery story & various "tricks" to induce labor. I will say this though---none of it works, and castor oil made me vomit all over the kitchen.

    How's that for a tidbit from a stranger!

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  3. this story reminds me of when i was a wee child on the swimteam; the coach is yelling at me b/c my event is coming up, and i am freaking out b/c i think i have lost my goggles; meanwhile, all my friends are trying to help me find them... the coach is starting to scream at me, and i tell her that i am looking for my goggles. she practically smacks me -- the goggles are already on my head! swim coaches don't take caps and goggles off little kids during swim meets, otherwise putting them on would take too long.

    anyway, we are waiting, along with you, for the birth of SB! xoxoxo to you all...

  4. Anonymous8:25 PM

    Pregnancy amnesia is contagious I guess. That just goes to show how involved you are! (smile)

  5. If it's pregnancy-related, what's my excuse? I always have my sunglasses on top of my head. Often when I'm, ya know, looking for them. At least no one was around when you found them. Well, but then you told us...

    Hope your day is much better today!

  6. I gave mine to my daughter. Too bad there wasn't any left for my son. Maybe he can what's left of yours?

  7. Oh yes. We donate our brain cells to our children. It's all good. You will get used to it.

  8. Anonymous10:14 AM

    Dude, wait until the baby comes! For the first few months, you're IQ is going to drop like a rock. You'll be lucky if you make it out of the house with pants on!

    Hey, can we start a betting pool for the arrival of 3B? What do you think?

  9. Anonymous12:01 PM

    Man you are in trouble you had your heart removed sometime in 1995 and now your brain. At least you have your liver, I think.

    TCB on shades man.