Monday, June 11, 2007

Snips & Snails

Puppy Dog Tales
From the "Because We Need One More Reason to Wash Our Hands" file: Barky has an eye infection. Yummy. His eye started watering last Thursday, so we made an appointment for him to get some routine maintenance done--trust me when I say that you don't want to know what's involved--and have the vet look at his eye. She confirmed that it's an eye infection, and asked if he'd been to the dog park or hanging out with other dogs, since the infection comes from direct contact. We told Barky not to kiss strange dogs--as if he would listen to us--and now we're squirting goop into Barky's eye twice a day to kill the other goop. And giving him pills twice a day, since the infection is so bad. Yippee. It did keep Barky from meeting his cousin Spud, however.

This Spud's for You
Who's Spud? Spud is Auntie Banana's new dog, who came over to visit today. It's been far too long since we've seen Auntie B, and while we walked down to our favorite local java shack*, we chattered away to each other about everything that's happened in the last several months. Auntie B is enjoying her new job, new digs (living with Boyfriend), gardening, and especially hanging out with Spud. We hope to have Auntie B and Boyfriend here for a swim soon, and if you want to know more about whassup wit' Auntie B--you get her to restart her blog. I can't.

*Why our favorite? Not only can we walk to it, but it has a changing table and diaper garbage can in the bathroom; an armada of toys, including an exersaucer; and a high chair, and I'm not talking about no wooden tower with a lap strap that a rock could squirm out of, I'm talking about a full on Graco high chair with a Nascar-approved five-point harness.

BabyCenter recently invited me to join their exclusive alpha mom club (read: "survey group of chumps"). Hey, I kind of like that . . . alpha mom . . . I get it--that's kind of like "alpha dog."

Waitaminnit--did BabyCenter just call me a queen bitch?

Anyway, even though I updated my registration with them, BabyCenter insists that I'm a mom:

BabyCenter would like to invite you to join The BabyCenter Alpha Moms Panel!

What is The BabyCenter Alpha Moms Panel?
It's an online community of active moms who are passionate about sharing their opinions on topics related to parenting from expecting your first to choosing a preschool.

So far they've asked for my opinion on topics ranging from my age to my gender to my income level.

That's OK, I have my own sources to find out what alpha moms do. According to inquiring minds who have checked it out, they spend their days ROTFLAO while debating which mascara makes their lashes longer and debating whether 10-year-olds should wear lip gloss on the shooting range.


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  1. Anonymous2:20 PM

    Yeah, BabyCenter thinks I'm a mom too. Amazon thinks I only buy diapers and knitting books. And my Tivo won't record anything but Super Nanny and Sesame Street. Wonder what that says about me!

    Give my love to Auntie Banana! Tell her we miss her out here in internet world.

  2. Amazon wants me to buy a Louis Bellson album, Haruki Murakami's next book, a peppermint foot soak, and the Happy Baby Animals (soft to touch) board book. Now, if they had a Murakami board book that played jazz and wafted out aromatherapy scents as I read it, I'd buy that for a dollar.

    I passed on your love to Auntie B. Still gonna' come down and watch the Mets thump the Nats?

  3. I know who you are, but they do not know who I am. Today, this Alpha Mom is taking her daughter to the big city to do some serious shopping, or so the daughter thinks. At least I convinced my son that he should stay home and bond with Dad.

    As far as the dog references go, the one lying on the couch next to me knows exactly who the ALPHA memer of the pack is, and she minds me.

  4. We just gave our cats their first dose of flea medicine for the much fun trying to explain to preschoolers why they can't touch the soft kitties for several days. Yah, wish us luck on that one.

  5. CAGirl: Barky minds us too. He minds when we sit in his spot on the couch, or try to lie down in his spot on the bed, or turn up the music too loud . . .

    Henisirk: Hm. It's warm enough down here that we have to dope Barky up year-round. Fortunately (sort of), 3B really just wants to play with Barky's tail and toes, not the back of his neck. But soon I'm sure that we'll have to explain. Any tips are welcome.

  6. Anonymous11:05 PM

    You can't just casually mention that Liberal Banana got a dog and not SAY WHAT KIND!

    And it's strange. I was thinking about her the other day. Oh how I miss her and her shopping tips. I think about her when I go to Kohls. Sigh.

    Poor Barky. You originally took him to the vet to get his anals done, didn't you? :-) I had to do that ALL THE TIME and it was no picnic. Beagles are easy though. Good butt tone.