Tuesday, February 26, 2008

All Starbucks to close today, Dunkin' Donuts replies: Booyah!

I just grabbed a latte at Starbucks and saw a sign on the door with news confirmed by Machinist:

All American Starbucks shops will shut down this evening between 5:30 and 9 p.m. local time to conduct what the company is calling "a historic in-store education and training event."
Education and training, my ass. The Onion nailed their prognostication for the Bush presidency with their headline, "Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'"

And the Onion's crystal ball long ago foretold of this ominous move by Starbucks as well...
Starbucks To Begin Sinister Phase Two Of Operation

The Onion

Starbucks To Begin Sinister 'Phase Two' Of Operation

SEATTLE-Starbucks officials announced Monday that they are through with the coffee-distribution portion of their long-range plan.

The best response award goes to Dunkin' Donuts, for their response at the end of the Machinist article:
Dunkin' Donuts has a better idea. From 1 p.m. to 10 p.m. today, Dunkin' stores will sell small lattes, cappuccinos and espressos for 99 cents. A Dunkin' exec tells Newsday, "We never want any customers to ever be denied access to their specialty drinks."

Subscribe to the Bradstein feed--Vorsprung durch Technik!

Better by design
Or get new posts via email . . . Enter your email address:


  1. You know that was big news here in W Washington. I don't drink the stuff so no problem here. I have been spending my time counting all the folgers, maxwell house, yuban and dunkin donuts (spelled incorrectly) in local stores here as a part of my job.

    Amazing what an addiction will do to a person.

  2. Anonymous12:46 PM

    The Onion! THAT'S what I need to keep reading! Oh how I love it. Thanks for the reminder.

    How's Barky?

    Oh, and your move on Scrabulous. Hurry up so I can kick your ass :-)

  3. Yes, it was big news here in Dallas too.

    You know---nobody sends a reporter when I go to inservices for my job!
    Of course...lots of people would be up sh*t creek if they closed the hospital to "retrain" all of us!

  4. KMoo: You are wiser than I am about addiction to java, although I've gotta say that Mama and I have pretty consistently stayed with half-caf since the pregnancy started.

    SJC: Thanks for the reminder of what I needed to do today--kick your ass in Scrabulous.

    L-P: The good news is that there will always be a demand for the work you do. The bad news is that you end up being taken for granted by society. And, you know, if you did close the hospital for your inservices, I bet a reporter would show up.