Sunday, February 24, 2008

Good parents don't make their dog barf

Originally, the title of this was "Good parents don't need microfiber." I was going to describe how 3B has been eating his way through his box of Valentine's chocolates, one messy, melting piece at a time.

Typically, he gets his piece while sitting on my lap in the glider, as I read him a story. By the time 3B's done with it, or spits it out, in the case of a caramel, he's smeared melted chocolate on his face, shirt, pants, and on me, my clothes, and across the chair. Fortunately, we got the glider that's covered in microfiber.

One could ask, I suppose, if it wouldn't be easier to not give the boy chocolate than to pay more for the microfiber.

One could ask.

One could also ask what the toxic dose of raisins is for a dog. One could ask, but the answer would not be counted in raisins. And so, if you are like us and leave a box of chocolates--some filled with raisins--in reach of your hound whilst you're shopping at IKEA, you would discover the answer is counted in days and dollars. To be specific, Barky is now spending two days, and we are spending something like $2,000 on raisin poisoning prophylaxis.

Did we need to undertake this treatment? It's unclear. What would happen if we didn't? Oh, he'd be fine, or suffer a horrible death through renal failure. I guess Barky is related to his cousin, after all. Either that, or he was desperate to get out of his teeth cleaning appointment tomorrow, although it's a bit ironic to do it by eating a box of chocolates, no?

Nothing tastes as sweet as irony, however, so it should be no surprise that when I got home from the vet, Mama found that box of Valentine's chocolate that we thought we'd accidentally recycled. Nor perhaps that we went to IKEA to order our new pantries so we'll have somewhere to put our bleach, laundry detergent, Swiffer pads, and so forth, to keep them out of 3B's reach. I suppose we'll have to save a shelf in there for chocolates.

At least we had a good time at IKEA. 3B even got to drive us home...

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  1. Good luck with the mutt!

    We had an entertaining day over here too, but I'm tired now and have to get up early, so I'll save it.

    I'll summarize by saying it's hard to beat a six-month-old girl for cute, but stay away from teen drivers.


  2. Anonymous9:33 AM

    We went to IKEA this weekend too...all I can say is that Småland is da bomb.

    The kids ran amok in there for an hour while the adults did their shopping. Neither group had to hassle each other to 1) quit touching everything or 2) quit all this boring shopping. They loved it so much, the only way I could get them out of there was to tell them it was time for Swedish meatballs.

    Raisin poisoning? Is that for real? I had no idea.

  3. Anonymous11:30 AM

    Oh Barky. *tsk-tsk-tsk* Is that any way for Mr. November to behave?

    Yeah, the bill sucks but renal failure is nothing to sneeze at. And yes, all the irony is amazing.

    Um, enjoy your new pantry?

  4. Anonymous1:41 PM

    Spec got into 2 choco easter bunnys when he was a year old. He nearly died. 2 days of hospital and a large bill. I couldnt imagine not having him here today though. He is an amazing little guy at 9 years old now.

    TCB on barky not barfing on the hospital food.

  5. It is not necessary for you to follow in all my footsteps in keeping a dog around. We were lucky that Shadow's treatment was on an outpatient basis. I am glad to hear that Barky is getting better. I hope he is as glad to see you as you are to see him.

    It is good to see that 3B understands the need to adjust the iPod while driving. I have taught my daughter to perform that little task while still in the driveway. I am not always so good about it myself.

  6. I hope your dog is o.k. My God that's a lot of money for raisin-anti-venom!

    3B is getting SO big. He's so damn cute!

  7. A funny thing happened on the way home from the airport...

    As I was sitting on the plane, my son calls to let me know that (in my new car) when you put the car into park, the windsheild wipers turn on and bop the bobber all around.... very exciting. Then you must find the real gear shift, which has been carefully camouflaged with the hat that was once on his head. It took some finding but apparently it was still there. (I am not sure if I was talking about the head or the gearshift.)

    Did I tell you the story of shopping in Ikea with only one shoe?

  8. MrJ: I should just call and ask, someone crash?

    Amama: We can't wait. We keep stretching 3B out, so he'll make the height requirement. Who are we kidding, at the rate he grows, we don't need to stretch him out. Think they'll notice the diaper?

    SJC: You can bet that we'll keep the raisins in the pantry.

    King: I believe that I heard that story about your mutt, but I'd forgotten. Kinda makes your heart stop, don't it?

    CAGirl: Oh, 3B can do many things while he's driving. The iPod is the least of it. But hey, at least he kept his other hand on the wheel, right?

    BBM: We agree with the "damn cute" assessment. Also with the "a lot of money" assessment.

    Kmoo: You're supposed to have two shoes in IKEA? Hm. But no, I don't think I have heard the story.