Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Month of hot dates

In the last month, I've been able to have three hot dates, one with a man, one with my wife, and one between Mama and another woman.

The man
No, when I was home to continue sifting through Mom's house, I didn't meet up with Bacchus, Hubby, and Little Man for a night on the town--besides, that would have been a date with three men. I didn't even contact Bacchus before my trip because I was going to be out there for such a short time that I didn't figure that I'd make it into The City. Brother #2, however, figured that we had time to catch the SF Symphony playing Tchaikovsky, which we did on Saturday night.

It was a wonderful surprise and a fitting interlude on a busy weekend full of difficult and tedious work. Mom and Dad used to go to what was then called Civic Light Opera--which we now call musical theater--leaving all six of us kids in the hands of an older babysitter with the requisite Kleenex stuffed up the sleeve of her sweater. They also would go to the occasional symphony or opera with friends when the opportunity presented itself. After Dad died, Mom bought season tickets to the SF Symphony. Sister #3 and I still lived in the area or at home, so we got to go regularly as Mom's dates for dinner and a symphony performance. This continued through college and right up until Mom died, and those dinners and performances are some of my most treasured memories of my time with Mom.

So this was an especially fitting break from sorting through Mom's thousands of CDs.

My wife
Actually, while in California, I took advantage of not needing to schedule a babysitter and took Brother #2 out on a second date, to see Juno in one of my favorite hometown theaters where the manager came down to the front of the theater to deliver the announcements to all six of us in the audience. I loved the movie, and the soundtrack included VU's I'm Sticking with You, which Mama had just told me that she and her best friend Buddy had sung a capella at a coffee shop open mic night--don't you just love Mama?

The day after Bro #2 and I saw Juno, I called Mama and emailed babysitters to start scheduling a date for Mama and I to see it when I got home. I figured Mama would love it, which she did, and that I'd like to see it again with her, which I did. We both laughed out loud at the same inappropriate moments, and we both cried through the childbirth scenes. It occurred to me this morning that those scenes were so moving because they were so real and that they were so real because they honestly mixed the joy of the miracle with the pain and the abject confusion that run through every birth.

It was great to go out and share a good laugh and cry with Mama, and then come home and hang out with 3B and some friends. We even started making plans to get 3B to his first baseball game at the new park.

The other woman
To cap off this amazing date streak, I booked a date for Mama with another woman. After the other woman called Mama to set a time to meet, Mama called me at work and when I answered the phone Mama said, "My dream just came true."

That's right. We hired a woman to clean our house once a month. Ever since Mama started consulting, I'd figured on this day coming, but I didn't realize how much it would change how we spend our time, even after only one cleaning.

On the one hand, it seems extravagant, but on the other, we've been living like this for months now, and no schedule we've tried has given us the time to keep our place as clean as we like. And for what Mama and I combined are paid for an hour of work, Mrs. N spent several hours getting our house ... well ... as clean as she could.

We were happy with the results, but Mrs. N just sighed and said, "It's a start. I'll have to work on it some more each time."

Added bonus: 3B loves her and Mrs. N also babysits.

I told you they were hot dates. Now my only problem is topping this streak.

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  1. Anonymous11:37 PM

    Funny. I went to see Juno by myself and had such a good time that I demanded that BossLady go see it too (what we'll do to avoid paying a babysitter!)

    I'm split on the whole housekeeper issue. We had one for awhile but it seemed like the day after she left, the Peanut was able to singlehandedly destroy her work.

    Toddlers, man. They're cute but they sure are destructive!

  2. Yeah, we're right there with you on the She cleaned! Shiva visited! cycle.

    That said, we found that she was able to remove enough of the dirt--dust bunnies, that schmutz on the mirrors, grease in the microwave vents--that we spend out lives trying to keep up with that we could finally stop scrubbing and look at all the clutter around our place.

    Which is why we may now have a shot at getting our holiday cards out before the 4th of July.

    I will note, however, that this is after only one visit, so we may end up in the same place you are.

  3. Ok even though I didn't get a quadruple date out of it. Next time though.... trust me a date with three guys isn't that bad. LOL

    We had a housekeeper who came in every other week. Her whole emphasis is cleaning the heavy stuff: bathroom, floors, windows, etc.. we don't worry about if things are out of place afterwards because we know it is a clean mess. I have to schedule her again.

  4. That was our thinking about cleaning too, Bacchus. We figured that it will also save us time if we're just doing maintenance cleaning, knowing that Mrs. N is coming in soon to do a heavy cleaning. We're only having her in once a month, however, to make it more affordable, but we're not sure if that's frequent enough for this plan to work.

  5. FWIW, that particular symphony (Tchaikowsky's "Pathetique") was one that Mom had given me a CD of a few Xmases ago.

    Normally if she gave me a CD of a classical piece, it was because she had seen it live and enjoyed it.

    I wish I could ask her more about it today, or at least let her know we'd been to see it too, as performed by her favorite local bar band. But it was a pleasure to see it with you--and fortuitous timing that it came up on the same weekend you were in town.

    Almost didn't make it that night, because of the strangling cold I'd had that week. They just about chased me out of the office to keep me from spreading it, and I think they were glad I was going to miss a day or two to work on clearing the house with you. I was glad the cold eased back soon enough that I could make it to the show and not cough during, and I hope I didn't send my pathogens back to the opposite coast with you.


    Mrs.N sounds fabulous.

    It's not an extravagant expense if it helps maintain your sanity.
    Life's too short to spend all of your time cleaning, or procrastinating/worrying about the cleaning...avoiding the unclean, and not having visitors b/c the house isn't clean... Yes, life's just too short for that.
    Enjoy coming home to a clean house!

  7. I need a Mrs. N!! I have 4 kids, each with their assigned cleaning jobs to be done around the house, yes every week. As my mother would say, if they can take pride in cleaning it up, maybe they won't mess it up so quickly. I only wish that would work. I suppose the first thing I need to do is enfoce the "You really need to get this done every week!!" We are all too busy, going here or there. Not too busy to clutter things up though.

    I am firmly of the belief that I am visiting a person to see them, not their house. I know how I keep my house and would hate for them to not visit me because of what my house looks like.

    The girls had time to see Juno and loved it. I have yet to catch a chance, but with your loving it, I might just have to make the time.

  8. Ummmmm should I be offended that 3B is seeing other women??? ;) hope you all are feeling better. love A