Friday, May 16, 2008

Disney magic, dangerous sleep, denim shorts

This has been a great trip. It's been an excellent conference, and even though we didn't get into the park yesterday, we all had a good time playing at the many pools and beaches, although I could only do that after the sessions were over. However, since it's 80 degrees through the night here, the only hard part of scheduling was figuring out when we had to leave the pool.

It's nice to be able to stay outside late because while the sun has been up I've mostly been inside a windowless conference room. I've been out long enough to see the maid parade this morning--a bit surreal to see 100 costumed maids, complete with parasols, parade around the pool--and some make some other observations, which have raised some questions...

Disney Employees ... sorry, Cast Members
Love the hotel, pools, beaches, food, boats, monorail, park--everything that you do. Love the magic that makes it all so easy to enjoy, but seriously, does ending every conversation with, "Have a magical day!" make you want to shoot yourself in the head? Also, how many times have you ended personal conversations with that by accident--

"Wanna have another drink, Dave?"

"No, dude. I'm outta here. Have a magical day!"

Why do you hate hotel cribs?

Also, for future reference, the headboard is called that because you're supposed to sleep with your head at that end of the bed. The other end of the bed is called "the foot" of the bed because you are supposed to sleep with your feet at that end of the bed.

While it is, perhaps, impressive that you can spend the entire night stretched out from one side of the bed to the other, a few words of advice about this: if you punch your mother in the face and kick your father in the face all night long while you do this, please plan on being well-behaved for the entire next day.

Also, just because your mother is flexible and can sleep in a full split with you extended horizontally between her legs, don't think that your father can do this without reconstructive hip surgery.

Also, Disney...any way to make the crib rails two inches higher so that tall toddlers can't climb out within 30 seconds? Maybe apply some Disney magic?

American Men
Denim shorts--stop it. Now.

They aren't cutoffs, and you shouldn't be wearing cutoffs anyway unless you're time traveling back 40 years to Max Yasgur's farm.

Denim shorts make you look like a doof. Not even Disney magic can make you look good in these. Especially those long ones--denim knickers? culottes? capris? Whatever...they're a disaster.

You're an adult. Wear adult clothes.

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  1. You can ask Akiko about the trip across country and the first night in the back of the truck... How is it the smallest member of our group took the most space? Please remember the truck was a small one, and your first nephew (age 18 months at the time)slept as the cross batr on the H and the 2 adults were the legs. Been there, cone that...

    Have a Magical Day!!

  2. Anonymous5:48 PM

    I'm glad you survived your trip to the Second Mouse House. One of our decisions about our vacation next week is that we are not going to the First Mouse House. Our kids are 99.99% Mouse-free, and we'd like to keep it that way as long as possible. They sometimes talk about a very vague creature named Mucky Mouse, but we decline to correct their understanding! I think the Industrial Princess Complex would breach our Waldorf defenses otherwise.

  3. It sounds like you are just starting to enjoy the finer moments of vacationing with kids. remember that he will be back in his own bed soon, and you can work with him on the benefits of staying there.

    Our kids were not very much into the mouse thing, but I still have a Disney Princess in the house 17 years later. She would be a princess without Disney. Her first question for Cinderella was a request to see the shoes. No, they were not glass. Her excuse for wearing dresses everywhere was that Cinderella did not wear pants.

    There is plenty to do and see in that place without the characters, and I was amazed that everyone in our family was happy there, despite the surreal environment. In fact, the last time we went, nobody wanted character photos at all. If you do, there usually is a cast member around who will take pictures with your camera even if they are trying to sell them.

    Have a Magical Day!

  4. I love Disney! Glad you're having a magical time.

  5. So cousin L and I went out shopping today because she needed shorts. Yes, that means we finally saw the sun and she realized that all of her shorts were now too small. We had a lot of "Have a great day," but no one slipped in the "Have a magical day" line. I will have to remember that one for next time I see you.

  6. I've yet to figure out the aversion to the hotel cribs. I mean they have them for a reason. In the 6 hotels we've stayed at with Little Man, only 2 of them actually put the cribs we'd requested in the room.

    We're actually thinking of getting a king size bed just because Little Man takes up so much room.

  7. Incidentally, how have guys over there been reacting when you tell them, "I just had a pedicure, and I enjoyed it, and I think you shouldn't be wearing those shorts"?

  8. MrJ: After they're done with their fine retorts, I remind them that they've paid $75 to see a mouse in a dress in a dance show.

    Who's the idiot now?

  9. You crack me up!, go, and have a magical day!

  10. That sleeping description has me crying. I SO hear you. My daughter does this as well. We have a king bed and it's still not big enough sometimes. And they are never well-behaved the next day.

    Disney is a wonderful place, but it can be equally frustrating for parents of young kids.

  11. Ah, so it is not just us who has a 'starfish' toddler who likes to sleep in a way to cause maximum inconvenience to the parent who are permitted to share the bed with them :)


  12. Mummy M: I believe that all toddlers come equipped with this feature.