Friday, August 15, 2008

Naked mime and a potbellied schlub

First installment of disjointed recollections of California...

Post one Tweet about a naked mime and everyone will ask you about it forever. Yes, he was naked. Yes, he was in public--on Market Street at 4th, across from, appropriately enough, the Virgin Megastore. Yes, certain anatomical details were obscured by a perilously small sign, advertising some business, which was somehow affixed to him. No, I did not check out his business.

In San Francisco, ordering take out Thai on a lunch break from a training class, I looked in the full length mirror behind the cash register and wondered, Who is that slumpy, potbellied, tired, middle aged schlub in the peach polo shirt staring at me? Oh crap, that's me! Hey, who stuck that paunch on me?

I spent a few evenings after class with one of my two best friends, FunkDaddie, who I've known since I was a tiny tot. We were able to meet up with one of our good friends from high school, who we recently got in touch with through Facebook. I will say that The City is a great place to roam the streets at night, muse about the beauty of the world while perched on a park bench, and meet some great urban outdoorsmen, but I will say that I'm getting too old for those kinds of nights. At least my liver is.

I also got to see my sister and her man for dinner, which was good fun. However, when I go to my favorite restaurant, I still gorge myself. I don't think I ate for a whole day after dinner there. Hey, who stuck that paunch on me?

Brother #2 was kind enough to drive up from SoCal on Friday to drive me down to SoCal on Saturday, which is a 14-hour round trip drive. During our seven hour stretch together, we managed to solve most of the major problems confronting the world. I admit that we didn't forsee the Georgia-Russia dustup, but it could probably also be addressed by what I call our universal solution: fewer people needing less.

In his first few hours in SoCal, 3B had all of his cousins well trained. When I arrived and he sat down to sing me the welcome song from music class, they all sat down and sang along with him. What can I say? He works the cute.

Tomorrow...the riches of OC are wasted on the rich and my new favorite virgin...

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  1. Fashion is constructed from reciprocal peer pressure. When the rock star you're living with has a lot of baby fat, your body and subconscious respond by trying to look more like him.

    Meanwhile, he's trying his best to look more like you, the household's Big Daddy, but he's gonna have to wait a few years before he can touch the beard.

  2. The naked mime is probably just waiting for the next Bay to Breakers... when it is legal to be naked in the city.

    I, myself, try to avoid mirrors at all cost.

  3. So, I suppose that if we're both trying to look like each other, we live in a house of mirrors, even if we have hardly any mirrors at home, which probably contributed to my surprise in the Thai place.

  4. Anonymous6:07 PM

    You know, I seriously doubt we're going to see any naked mimes here in Idaho. Gun racks and horse trailers, we got plenty.