Thursday, September 25, 2008

Dad drops off nine kids at hospital

I'm no lawyer, but this can't be right...a dad in Nebraska dropped off his nine kids, ranging in age from 1 to 17 at a university hospital under the state's new safe haven law.

I understand the intent of safe haven laws, and I would much rather that an infant be put safely into a caregiver's hands rather than abandoned, but the 17-year-old?

Believe me when I say that I'm sure there are plenty of times Mom probably would have thought seriously about taking advantage of such a law when I was 17 if such a law existed then, but isn't raising a teenager like being a Cubs fan: you always know that next year they'll be great, no matter what they did this year?

But, having been up with 3B yesterday from the moment he puked at 3 a.m., a performance that he reprised at 5 a.m. (for the record, I didn't bear the brunt of this, since he chose to puke on Mama, not me--sometimes it sucks to be the favorite parent), all the way through until he went down for his nap at 2 p.m., I will cut the dad some slack. I've only got one Pukey McWakeywakerson; he's got nine.

I figure the man has his reasons...we just don't know what they are yet. But we can always guess. Here are my thoughts, feel free to add yours.

  • This was the only way he and his wife could get enough alone time to have #10.
  • You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille.
  • The youngest, who was their last best hope for a first baseman, turned out to be right-handed, ruining their plan to be a one-family World Series championship team.
  • Enough with the Wiggles, already!
  • Dad was fine with being a jungle gym and a carrying cart and a swing and a see saw, but he was tired of getting kicked in the nuts, ferchrissakes!
  • Maybe he went to get a sideways haircut.
  • Maybe he just wanted some time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, like taking an uninterrupted poop.

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  1. Anonymous10:41 PM

    Wow, I wonder what was up with that dad? All humor aside, I can only imagine there was some serious desperation going on there.

    I hope Pukey's feeling better!

  2. Agreed about that dad. While my sarcastic mind immediately came up with that short list, my reaction was the same as yours--something must be desperately wrong for him to give up all of his kids. I have a hard enough time leaving 3B to go to work for the day. Whatever it is that caused the dad to do that, I'm fervently hoping that it gets straightened out.

  3. Now I know where to take my kids on vacation next summer. Too bad they already have my cell phone number and address committed to memory.

    I wonder about someone with 9 kids not getting it after the first three or four about where they are coming from.

    I find my alone time early in the morning in the pool.

  4. I thought you were supposed to poop in front of the kids so they would think using the potty was cool. Of course by the time they are teenagers they know their parents are not cool. Can I just fly my kids to Nebraska, or do I actually have to be there with them to drop them off? Just wondering.

  5. KMoo: I believe that yours are old enough to fly themselves to Nebraska, although you might want to pack them a lunch; it's a long flight.