Wednesday, June 02, 2010

I'm betting my face that you'll fail...

Update: To clarify--I need to raise $2,000 within the month of June to shave my beard. As of June 1, I'd raised $2,945, so if you want to force me to shave my beard, you have to raise that total to $4,945 by the end of June 30.

Since I was 16, I've had a beard, which makes it 25 years now, thanks for asking. That could change at the end of this's up to you.

It used to be that when I was meeting someone for the first time I could tell them that I'd be the guy with the red beard. There aren't too many of us around, so I was almost certain to be the only one there.

Now, however, that lovely shade of rust that 3B inherited as his hair color has, in a perverse reversal of metal weathering, become almost entirely steel colored. I won't say that this came about as a result of having children, but I will say that it was only after having 3B and having people ask where his hair color came from that I realized the connection wasn't obvious anymore.

Having to say, I'll be the guy with the gray beard has been enough to get me thinking about shaving it off, but I know that I never will--unless you make me.

See, I'm not one of those guys who loves the idea of having a beard and who spends all kinds of time trimming it into ridiculous, if fashionable, shapes. I have a beard because shaving is a damn waste of my valuable time. It also happens to be fairly unpleasant, even if I do excel at razor wielding, and mornings are hard enough--there's no need to seek out additional unnecessary unpleasantness. So, there's no vanity in my decision to have a beard.

However, until now there's been tremendous consistency. But you can end that all by the end of this month.

I'm betting my beard that I won't raise $2,000 to fight cancer by the end of June 30--if I'm wrong, I'll shave my beard off...and yes, I'll ensure that you see the deed being done.

Further, if I raise $4,000 to fight cancer by the end of June 30, I'll shave my beard and my head.

Last month was all about having you donate directly so you or your loved ones could come along on my ride via photos on my jersey. This month is all about all of us getting the money to the Dana Farber Cancer Institute any way that we can, so tell your friends to send money--hell, tell your enemies for all I care. Use any means necessary:
  • blog about it
  • tweet about it
  • post Facebook updates
  • write it on bathroom walls
  • hire skywriters to scrawl it above sunny beaches packed with summer crowds
I don't care who the money comes from--steal it from your grandparents' bingo fund if you want to. Wherever it comes from, before the end of June 30, submit your donation.

Or I get to have a perfectly pleasant, razor-free morning on July 1.

I'm working to make cancer history. Will you help me?

Subscribe to the Bradstein feed--Vorsprung durch Technik!


  1. Your hair should be safe. June ends on the 30th. We will never make it to June 31st.

  2. Oi, this editor needs an editor. Thanks...updating now.

  3. Man... a beard since you were 16? I'm almost 28 and can't even grow sideburns... so jealous.

    Good luck on raising the money. I'm rooting for the raising of money so you have to shave it. :)

  4. Thanks for rooting for me. If you really want me to lose--and who doesn't?--tweet out about it or post on your blog, in Facebook, or wherever you can.