Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Feverish badgers' health updates

Health updates...

I've gotten some queries about our various health issues, so I guess I left you all hanging about them. Suffice it to say that we survived, but here's some more detail:

Her broken, sprained, twisted, dislocated, all of the above leg seems to be fine. Although she appeared to be walking mostly normally by the time her follow up appointment came along, and despite the difficulties inherent in taking two tired badgers into a non-pediatrician doctor's office, Mama took Jewel in.

This was largely because when Jewel starts listing to starboard and walking in ever smaller circles as she goes through puberty and one of her legs fails to grow longer than 17 inches, neither Mama nor I wanted there to be any doubt that we did all that we could.

Yes, that's right, we weren't looking for a solution, just indemnity from future claims of ineptitude.

Of course, as soon as she was no longer lame, Jewel developed dual ear infections, which led to antibiotics and all of the fun that goes with those.

His pneumonia seems to have passed, and since it's been so long since that happened, I get to report that he has a whole new cough--although the new cough is the same as the old cough, as far as I can tell--and two (almost) ear infections to boot.

The nurse practitioner--we went to a CVC Minute Clinic since he developed these over the weekend when his Dr's office is closed, of course--said that they weren't quite infected yet, but that the diagnosis is somewhat subjective. However, Mama and I have been down this road, we know where it ends, and we're all going to be in the car for 12 hours this week, driving to the farm. So, I used a Jedi mind trick and got the nurse practitioner to prescribe antibiotics to head off what would have become, five seconds after we left her office, a raging ear infection that would have laid an elephant down.

Before you go all anti-antibiotic crazy on me--I know. I get it. I actually avoid them like the plague...or at least like the common cold. However, 3B just got over pneumonia, and I don't think he needed another two or three days sweating out a 104-degree fever while driving 600-miles to colder climes and celebrating Christmakwanzukkah.

Mama and I
Despite the repeated 3 a.m. "my tummy hurts" wake up calls, the 63 trips in one week to the doctor, and the general demeanor of the feverish badgers, we're fine. Thanks for asking.

p.s. Why is it always 3 a.m.? 10 extra Bradstein points for the best answer.

Papa Bradstein will ride 200 miles across Massachusetts in two days to help fight cancer. Please support his ride.

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Monday, December 19, 2011

Round and round with the rat

We just got back from a three-year-old's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's or, as I refer to it, the restaurant run by a rat. OK, a mouse, but there's no alliteration in that.

Walking out, across the parking lot
...my throat sore from yelling
...my ears ringing from the cacophony
...my pockets overflowing and clanking with tokens
...dragging two mylar balloons behind me
...a diaper bag jam-packed with sippy cups and hats and coats and jackets digging into my shoulder
...my joints and muscles aching from all the kneeling and squatting and chasing and steering wicked fast power boats while trying to corral 50 squirming pounds on my lap...
I said to Mama that I felt like I'd just survived a rock concert, and that it was time to collapse into bed.

It was 7:30 p.m.

Not a.m., like after rock concerts of yore, when I would be returned home missing garments and even shoes at times, slightly befuddled and utterly exhausted, dropped off by a friend. No, after this concert, I got to shoehorn all those goodies into the trunk, strap the two weasely badgers into the back seat and then get yelled at all the way home.

In hindsight, I probably should have turned off the headlights, swerved around and gotten pulled over. At least it would have been quiet sitting outside on the curb.

My friend replied on Facebook that she was glad to have a child over 20. I'd much rather spend an evening in a college bar, lining up shots with kids half my age, than do another tour in Chez Chuckie.

Papa Bradstein will ride 200 miles across Massachusetts in two days to help fight cancer, which will be easier than spending another 20 minutes in Chuck E. Cheese's house of pain. Please support his ride.

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